Standing On The Sidelines

I have been thinking how I wanted to frame this post and share it. I don’t think it wil be a surprise to read how I relate this to my teaching, to my students. For the first time in forever I am “standing on the sidelines” and how foreign and strange that is to me. From early on, when my dream to be a teacher, came to fruition, I was there, in the forefront. Whether questioning teaching practices, pay scales or furthering my education in a non-graded school. (A major influence in my life to look at the foibles of grades.) I never sat still, I was a fighter for causes and injustices. My passions have fueled me all my life, and I am proud of that. So when retirement came I knew there would be adjustments, but not in the unexpected way that it has. I am finally setting up a routine for myself (accepting support and guidance from so many generous people in my “real” and “social media” worlds); one that gives me flexibility to pace myself and stand on the sidelines when I need it. But not for long. I have found a meaningful way to navigate the world of Twitter and chats. I learn with my PLN, sharing thoughts and ideas and questioning, always questioning. Making sense of ideas that impact children’s’ lives is of paramount interest and concern to me. I remember when I would lurk, not confident in my voice; will they (the chatterers) think me silly or too bold, wanting to take over? Will they reject my ideas or concerns? I started blogging: reflections and sharing, no holds barred, the successes and failures of my teaching experiences. In time I hope to find a more active role as “teacher,” not in my own classroom, but we will see. The sidelines are becoming more blurred and that works for me.

And then when I think of my kinders, those that stand and watch their peers. They watch the block builders, the drawers, the sports efficianodos, the diggers, the computer wizzards, the writers and the readers. I stand to the side as well, watching, ever vigilant to see what needs to be done. Biting my tongue, waiting, not jumping to rescue, not an easy role for me. But I learn. I learned to observe, to wait, to listen, not to the words said, but those unsaid. Do they wait fearful of ridicule, non acceptance, not being top dog in whatever they attempt? Or do they look, because for now that is okay with them, till standing on the sidelines becomes blurred for them and they are where they want to be.

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