I Am Not Flawed

For those who read my blog you know that my focus on education are really my reflections about where I am, where I’ve been and where I’m going. So this post is about an epiphany I recently had about me and my growth; on one of my roads. A quick back story, I have had two open heart surgeries: one time to repair my mitral valve and then10 years later to replace that valve. NOT a pity post, I am healthier than many and most often not encumbered by the meds I take. For goodness sake I teach full day KINDERGARTEN! What has amazed me, since I am a fairly intelligent person, is that I have spent the last 30 odd years covering up: literally. Whenever I dressed I made sure my top would hide my scar. It runs along my sturnam and is fairly long. I had no problem talking about the reasons for my surgery, but was hell bent on not having it be visible to me or others when I went out into the world. And then I looked around, saw other people’s scars, other people’s physical flaws and wondered about them. Some were like me, I could tell, unhappy when the eye looked where the secret was hidden. And then I saw the people who said, “This is me, looked past what you see.” I wondered how they got there, right away or with time? Then I thought of all the children I have taught these passed 35+ years. The ones who looked different, felt different and were treated different; who made unusual connections to their peers and to the world. Those who were strong and resilient, went on their way, did their thing; learned and found their way. I ran into one of them recently (he is around 30 now) he still looked “different” and seemed a bit awkward in this social situation. But he reached out to me and our conversation kept me spell bound, he is comfortable with him; he is not flawed! So as I ramble, my growth mindset takes over, time to get over either nature’s mistakes or situations beyond our control. Our job is to advocate for the vulnerable ones who are different; they are in our class, in our community, in our world. They might want to be invisible out of fear of the unknown or past experiences. We help where we can, but we can’t ignore. The students who touch my life have shown me this. When they look at me with admiration, joy and laughter, I see me in their eyes. Now my scar is my “red badge of courage”; just took me a long time to embrace me fully, as I am.


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6 Responses to I Am Not Flawed

  1. Kimberley says:

    I love this! I feel like your scar is a reminder that we all go through stuff. Be kind to everyone you see and all that. Thank you for stopping by my blog and reminding me to check out other blogs. You are now on my list of weekly visits and I’m excited to learn from you!

  2. mnjerseygirl0403 says:

    Just had my own PT conferences last night, and was reminded of something similar to this. Isn’t it amazing how we can learn and gain so much from 5 and 6 year olds? Thank you for sharing this, great way to start the day.

    • faige says:

      So glad to get your comment. My students have been teaching me for a very long time. LOL Are you on Twitter? Curious how you found his post.

      • mnjerseygirl0403 says:

        Yes, I am on Twitter-@tritonkory Just started to try to use Twitter more as a PLN, still trying to figure it all out. 🙂 Need to connect with more teachers that are on the same page as me. I work at a very traditional school and struggle with how the principal leads. Most days feel like I am breaking all the rules and co-workers that don’t understand me. Glad I found this post, it was one I needed to read.

  3. faige says:

    So glad it was helpful. Just checked and I do follow you. Glad to be learning with you. Love my PLN We all are here to help each other 😊

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